Mara McGraw, MSW - Relational Mindfulness for individuals, couples & moresomes

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Mindful Moments

Shame and Vulnerability

The only way to enter courage is to walk through the fires of shame; this means being vulnerable, imperfect, authentic, exposed. Shame compounds with secrecy, silence and judgement. Shed light by telling your story to those who have earned it and will lean into the discomfit with you, offering empathy, and shame will dwindle, courage taking it's place. We try to dress rehearse tragedy to beat vulnerability to the punch. Practice gratitude to allow joy rather than defend against disappointment. Arm yourself with this distinction: guilt is a natural response to acting against our values, shame is the negative self talk that pushes us into a sense or belief of unworthiness. I did a bad thing versus I am a bad person. "God is the Divine reminder of our inherent worthiness." Dialectically perfectionism is the devil. For more on this topic read Brene Brown's book Dare Greatly

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